As I have mentioned in the past couple of posts, I have been contemplating looking for a new Daddy. I have given this a lot of thought and had some great advice from so many of you who read my blog, and tonight I took the first step. I posted a personal ad to begin the process. I even talked things over with J and he wished me the best of luck. He is, of course, not completely enthused with me looking for someone else, but he also wants the best for me.
I sometimes wonder if he is right - am I making a mistake walking away from something that clearly was amazing? Can I kneel in front of someone that isn't him?
One of the most striking memories I have of us was the time at that conference last summer. After sucking his cock so furiously, he happily rewarded me by cumming that huge load all over my face. I can't forget how happy I was looking up at him as he looked down at me so appreciative and proud of me. He even took his finger and scooped up some of the cum that was dripping off my chin, poured it off his finger and into my mouth, letting me suck and swallow every drop of him. Words are hard to find to describe just how I felt at that moment, at home at his feet.
There really was only one sticking point that prevents us from being together, but to me, it is something that I really want. I want to be in a relationship. I want to know that he is always there for me and emotionally invested in us. I think it will help me to be even that more of a devoted sub and I can only imagine all that I would want my Dom to do with me once I have his commitment to me emotionally. I know that there is a big chance that opening myself up like this, I will only be hurt, but it is a risk and a journey I am willing to take. Only time will tell . . .