Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Never Say Never

This week in my article at Gutter Magazine, I talked about something that is taboo for many – anal sex. I mainly tried to dispel some of the myths that people assume about this sexual act. But, as I hinted at in the article, there are more mental aspects of anal that come into play in a D/s sexual encounter.


It was only the second night I was with Daddy J when he asked me if I wanted him in my ass. My first thought was fear and that it was NOT something I ever wanted to do. But, I felt this overwhelming trust in him and desire to please him. I didn’t speak – I simply nodded. I could tell he was not really expecting my agreement, but I also saw his pleasure that I was willing to let him have his way with me. He grabbed the lube and slowly stuck his finger in first, rubbing my back with his other hand to calm me and help me relax. I could hear him smile as he whispering told what a good girl I was.

As he entered me with his hard cock, I was more nervous than I think I had ever been. But somehow I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me and I was so committed to making sure he enjoyed it. It wasn’t about me – it was about providing for him and completely releasing myself to his control. It was one of the first times that I suspected there was more to me than I even knew. I was beginning to learn my true submissive self.

There are a couple of reasons why anal plays a large role in many D/s sexual encounters. First and foremost, it can be extremely pleasurable for both partners, while at the same time, invoking the thoughts of doing something that is taboo. But also, for a Dominant, it can provide an ultimate sense of power. He is taking something that she may not want to give up. He is complete control over her and both of their pleasure. She is submitting to him fully and is focused completely on his pleasure. For a submissive, it can also make her feel especially vulnerable. She knows he is taking this from her whether she wants him to or not. Also, she may feel dirty for doing something that she “shouldn’t” enjoy. This can spell a very strong power exchange for both partners, which always intensifies the scene. Anal is not generally all a scene is focused on, but it can mentally set the stage for the rest of the play. This can also deepen the intimacy between the Dom and the submissive, which also makes everything more pleasurable.

I love answering questions and hearing from you so feel free to drop me an email and be sure to also follow me on my Tumblr and Twitter, and at Gutter Magazine online.

10 comments:

  1. I love anal, but my lizard is not a big fan, so we only do it three times a year, and she definitely does not get any pleasure from it. She has a psychological distaste because she thinks it's dirty. I'm lucky she loves me enough to let me do it when we do.

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  2. I don't particularly like it myself, but I understand why I needed to do it for him. But I do think a lot of women (and some men) have that same psychological block. I explained more in the article on Gutter (rather than here) why we shouldn't be ashamed of it. But, to each his/her own :)

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  3. There is no way you are a real woman. This post proves it. Why don't you just go on dreaming man?

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  4. Sorry to disappoint you terribly, Anonymous, but I am indeed a woman. A sexy one at that, some might say ;) Don't be a hater - it is very unattractive!

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  5. It's interesting, my wife and I engage in anal play, but the other way around. I love butt plugs and fisting. A well lubed finger tickling the anus during a blowjob is mind blowing. I would very much like to try performing anal sex with my wife, but she has a mental block, anytime we try all her muscles contract violently, so we stopped trying.

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  6. Interesting indeed. I wish I knew ways to help people who have that psychological/mental block against it. I have heard that men also enjoy it as well, I just haven't been with one so far who wanted me to play with his ass. :)

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  7. Hey you. We never did get to try this together. But reading this did remind me of times with a former gf of mine. She loved anal. There were certain times for me, depending on my mood and my emotional and mental, where it was great.
    I would look down and watch my rockhard cock penetrating her tight asshole. In one of my hands was her hairpull her back. In my other hand was her ass, and I was squeezing tight. And every once in a while I sneak a peek to see that pleasured/pain expression on her face. The only aspect of anal I never got to enjoy was ATM, which I thought was completely unfair. I mean why should I be punished because of which orifice I was fucking her in?What are your thoughts, babe??

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  8. Sounds very hot! As for ATM, not something that turns me on, but if my Daddy wanted me to do it for him, I would of course try it. :)

    As for "fair" - you are correct - it isn't fair. But depending on the type of relationship you have, unfortunately there are a lot of things happen that are unfair. The important part is deciding what you are willing to do, not do, put up with.

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  9. I am looking for an S who is able to commit hersrlf to the level where the physical acts become meaningless to her. The only thoughts in her head are my pleasure... irregardless of the avenies
    You have a ways to go babe

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  10. Dear latest Anonymous,
    I am fully aware that I have a lot to learn about being a submissive. I only fully started exploring this aspect of myself less than a year, and things ended with Daddy J back at the end of January after only a few full-fledged sessions. I like to think, and have been told, I still have potential. You obviously are looking for a seasoned submissive, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey as well. :)

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