If you follow me on Twitter, it comes as no surprise to you that I've had a rough couple of months emotionally. There are lots of factors that have played into this: family issues, stress from work, sexual frustration, dating woes, etc. For some reason thought, I couldn't exactly pinpoint any one thing I could do to overcome the weight of the sadness and loneliness. I tried relaxation techniques, music, movies, exercise, and all worked in some way for a little while. But ultimately, I would still wind up sitting in my house, struck with insomnia crying into my pillow.
People don't follow me and read my blog and articles at Gutter Magazine for me to be Emo. They follow me for sexy adventures, outspoken advice, sex positive information, and probably to get a few rocks off. I did lose followers, so I do thank those of you who stuck around. Many of you messaged me and told me that you supported me - the whole me - and that means a lot. One particularly rough Saturday afternoon, I was in my bed, in the fetal position, listening to Ellie Goulding and Keane, feeling particularly pathetic and I started messaging with a very kind follower. We had tweeted with each other previously, but this was a long afternoon, into night conversation. He said something that struck a chord with me and I found it particularly sweet.
Am I still insecure? Somewhat. Do I still feel vulnerable? Of course. In order to get something out of life, you have to put yourself out there. No one comes knocking on a door when it looks like no one will answer. That risk of opening up and letting people in scares me more than I would like to. But I know I still have to do it. It's just nice to know that in the event I do get hurt by chances I take, I feel very lucky to have people like him on my side.
Please go see and comment on what others are doing this Sinful Sunday! You'll be so glad you did - Just click below :)
P.S. I'm also nominated for the Great Dating Blogs - Best Adult Blog so please vote for me here to be a finalist! Thanks :)